10. You can't use floppy disks.

9. You can't go shopping with your friends for a Sound Blaster board because Macs don't need one.

8. Your Core 2 Duo iMac does integer calculation equivalent to a Core 2 Quad PC, but you can only brag about Core 2 Duo.

7. Networking with a Mac is not an impressive feat.

6. Macs don't come in black, and we all know black cabinets make computers faster and louder.

5. You have to add a system extension to make Mac menus stay down like Windows. We like pokey menus because it's too hard to hold that heavy mouse button down while we read. 

4. And the Mac mouse is too slow. We want our cursor to fly wildly off the screen when we twitch our wrist because hyper cursors make our PCs look faster.

3. You just plug Macs in and they work. Where's the challenge in that?

2. When you add stuff, you just plug them in and they work, too. Again, no challenge.

1. Your clients and teachers know about # 2 and 3, so they expect Mac users to deliver results, not excuses!